Erwaman's Personal Journal - February 2007

I deathly need the break, being as it is I'm so sleep-deprived all the time. It's very enjoyable to be able to set school aside for a while and engage in something different, something that's wholely enjoyable. I think what I gain from these excused school absences is definitely worth my time. Now, I've never gone to church regularly nor do I have any affiliated religion (besides my own, Zyxquavipkyllian-Lykpivauqxyzianism), but many of these experiences are like spirituals for me. I listen to provocative speeches and hear insightful thoughts and they make my mind ponder great things. I always feel better upon returning to school from one of these trips and it fuels me until the next experience or vacation.

Now the downside is that I fall behind on my studies and schoolwork. There's lots of catching-up to do upon returning. Not only do I have to make up the homework, I also need to get notes and handouts that I missed. In addition, some things a teacher teaches you only get from hearing the teacher's words, hearing the teacher explain something, hearing the story and the description. It's not the same if someone else tries to explain it to you or if you read the textbook. I guess it's not so much the work I need to make-up that I mind so much; it's missing the classes and hearing the teacher speak that is the biggest lost.

All things considered, I'd still definitely take these breaks from school. Despite what I miss, I also gain something extra which I might not gain in school. These experiences help break up the monotony and routine associated with school. They add a twist on life and keep things interesting.

I just feel there's too much deception in this world. Corruption, greed, scandals. Lies, lies, and more lies. Exaggerations, false statements. Everything seems so uncertain. What can you possibly be sure of? Can you trust anyone? Anything? Once again, numbers don't lie. The beauty I find in math is the certainty and undeniableness of correct solutions. No matter how hard you try, no matter how you manipulate the numbers, the answer is the same. You can't change it. It's concrete.

Well, the previous paragraph sounds very pessimistic, almost like I'm a cynic. But I think people are generally good. I think everybody is born with the capacity to do good, but some stray off course. I believe numbers help keep people on track. The certainty of numbers is an alternate reality. Seeing the realism in math can keep one realistic in real life. John McCarthy, professor emeritus of computer science at Stanford University, said, "He who refuses to do arithmetic is doomed to talk nonsense." I think this is somewhat true. Everyone should be able to work with numbers. From math, good logic can be developed as well. Clear and coherent thinking and reasoning result.

I'm sure some people feel constrained by math, as if they're bound by straitjackets. Some might think math is too rigid, too precise, too exact and unrealistic. They might say there is no creativity, no life in math. All there is is manipulating numbers. That's where the applications of math come in. In addition to all fields of science, math is used to analyze trends, statistics, and data. Then, when doing a math problem, there are always many ways to arrive at the final answer. Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, "Brevity is the soul of wit." Similarly in mathematics, one strives for efficient solutions and short, concise, and elegant proofs. There are many methods to solving each problem, but some are more beautiful than others.

I find math a stunning creation of the human mind. Calculus, trigonometry, abstract and linear algebra, number theory, combinatorials, the list goes on. I don't even though what half of these things are, but it's amazing that so much can be done with numbers. Flipping through a math textbook, I see all these wild symbols and formulae, and I think, wow, this is incredible. How did anyone ever come up with all of this? And everything is interconnected. You can use vectors to do geometric proofs. You can solve problems algebraically and graphically. Fermat's Last Theorem, that if n is a positive integer greater than 2, then there are no solutions to the equation aⁿ + bⁿ = cⁿ where a, b, and c are non-zero integers, was proven through a correlation discovered between elliptic curves and the theorem. Everything is intertwined, and the numbers always hold up. Schrödinger developed a wave equation in the field of quantum mechanics. Newton and Einstein developed universal laws. With math, everything is linked and connected. Its universality is astonishing. Complex and dynamic happenings in real life can be explained with equations and principles. Numbers show a relationship and help humankind understand the workings of nature. Who knew there was so much to discover in the universe? Who knew that laws and generalizations and constants would arise? It is extraordinary that the entire universe is bound together in a correlated network.

Thus, it is why I study math with such great interest. Math can be applied to help understand nature, and in understanding more about nature, I discover its beauty. And, as Henri Poincaré, French mathematician and physicist, said, "If nature were not beautiful, it would not be worth knowing, and if nature were not worth knowing, life would not be worth living." Numbers are profound.