Erwaman's Personal Journal - January 2007

All these extracurriculars that I do - what do I enjoy so much about them? I think it's the journey each activity takes me on. I never fail to learn something. It's usually the insights or connections I make with other things or the relationship to my own life that makes these experiences worthwhile. Every activity adds to my perceptiveness, my critical thinking, my life experience. Every conductor is another teacher, and good or bad, he or she always adds something to the plate.

I just want to jot down some insightful or meaningful words I heard during the first half of this school year:

• I went to the FBLA Leadership Conference in the fall, attending several workshops. From the guest speakers, apart from learning how to start your own business, I also received instruction on how to live a happy and fulfilling life. The speaker said the path to happiness involves three steps:
  1. Choose happiness.
  2. Keep your sense of humor. Be able to laugh at yourself. GPS, dude(tte). Look for the fun in situations.
  3. Come form a place of service. Develop your own ritual. "Comfort never produced greatness."
• What I interpreted from these words was that happiness has much to do with your attitude, your mindset. If I keep a positive attitude, I can stay optimistic and cheerful even in stressful situations. Laughter is a great medicine. Doing things for others will make me feel better. Taking risks will not only expand my horizons, but make me happier that I tried something. I don't exactly remember what the meaning of GPS was, but I think it basically means that no matter what the situation, you can find connections to positive things.
• From my band experiences, I've heard many interesting things:
  • The audience doesn't pay professional musicians so that the musicians can play what they want. The audience pays to satisfy their own musical desires. The audience pays to hear great music and to be taken along on the ride.
  • What's an expert? It's a subjective identifier we generally give those that exhibit great achievement in some field and tend to be superior relative to others in the same field. What makes an expert? They say 10,000 hours are required to reach the expert level of knowledge, understanding, and execution in any field. That's approximately 3 hours a day or 20 hours a week for 10 years.
  • Between two neurons, there is one possible connection. Between n neurons, there are connections. Each series of connections yields a different result. There are essentially an infinite number of possibilities of what your mind experiences.
  • Your brain learns better with dopamine. There are two ways your brain produces dopamine: when you're under much stress or when you're in love. It helps to explain why I work well when I feel the pressure of time. Also, if you care about something, you learn it more easily.
  • What's interpretation? You may have your own interpretation that you tell someone. But how that someone receives your message depends on his interpretation of your words. Interpretation depends on the receiver.
  • The great part about music is, if you make a mistake, nobody dies. It's not like neurosurgery. The audience is excited when you take risks; they want you to bring them on the ride. Play the song how you want it to sound. Don't worry about mistakes. Hear the music in your mind and convey the sound to the audience. You'll do well.
  • If you ever get a chance to conduct, try it! Being a conductor and then being a player gives you different perspectives. You'll see what things look and sound like from the podium. You'll discover what gestures are helpful as a conductor and what movements are not. It's like the roles of teacher and student. Experiencing the one you're not as accustomed to makes you better at the one you are familiar with.

These words can be applied elsewhere besides business and music. In our universe, space and time are strung together. Everything's connected. Finding these connections is wonderful.

The 11.33 is a single solve PR for me too, smashing my previous 12.18 record. I was unable to recreate the solve, but I think I had an OLL skip and a T-permutation. The scramble was: L2 F' D' L2 B2 D2 F2 D' R B L2 R B2 F' L2 F' U2 D R2 D2 L B' F' R2 L2.

Yes, I pulled an all-nighter yesterday. Yes, there shouldn't have been any need. I just kept procrastinating on my sonnet analysis. I just didn't want to do it. So I checked my e-mail. I cubed. I watched random YouTube videos. I tried the recorder (for pit band) for the first time. So yet another act of procrastination. I do believe I'll change someday. After all, practice makes perfect. If I keep trying (practicing), someday I'll get it.

When good things happen, they serve as an inspiration for other things. The school day today passed by in a haze. It was probably one of the worst sleep-deprivation hangovers. But you know what? I felt very content and satisfied the entire day. I tackled my cubing record the night before, and then I had the strength to study for and tackle my Spanish quiz (no joke when it's strict memorization of textbook reading passages and not a grammar quiz). Now, cubing gives me motivation again. I feel so wonderful now. Two records broken in one night. In a category I had been faltering in for so long (I could find no consistency in my 3x3x3 times for six months.). Several consecutive days of practice and the results are astronomical. Truly, practice leads to results. Now I am excited and energetic. I am in a positive state and possess the attitude to accomplish things. I can think rationally. I took a 4+ hour nap this afternoon, but I still have much sleep debt to pay back. I want to sleep well because I have a long day ahead, highlighted by a region band rehearsal. Remember last time, Anthony? You enjoyed the rehearsal, but it was a little less enjoyable than the first because you were a tad sleep-deprived. Get some sleep so you can fully embrace and enjoy the music. Deal. I should sleep ASAP. I'm going to stop this entry now, do my health journals, and go to sleep. Deal. Done. Power of the cube.

So, a few thoughts about the first few weeks back from winter vacation:

• First day back was the worst. Every class gave me homework. It's been pretty busy, but it doesn't feel worse than what it was before winter vacation.
• FBLA competition was so much fun. I want to sing more songs for the trivia contest :-). I got to see some of my friends from other schools. I have some tough rival competitors in my category of Business Calculations.
• Area, regional, and soon also all-state band are keeping me alive. Oh my gosh, I love playing in these ensembles. A full, balanced, in-tune ensemble sound is such a harmonious sound. I look forward to these many-hour band rehearsals and concerts just for those beautiful sounds. Yeah, they keep me busy and sleep-deprived, but during rehearsals, I haven't a care in the world. Lots of friends from last year, some new ones, too. Making music together is awesome. I like the conductors and music this year as well.
• Language arts is hard for me. I need to step up my game.
• Days seem kind of crummy sometimes. Result of sleep-deprivation? Need a more positive outlook on life.
• Where are the snow days? Martin Luther King, Jr. Day was sweet.
• Volunteering at MMH = Rubik's Cube clinic. Most of the people there now cube :-D. Some Randolph folks are starting a club at their school (:-) × 2).
• Nintendo Wii is an amazing system. Incredible design. So much fun. Can't wait for some good games.

Two days ago, I was cubing (Okay, what else is new?). I did the Sunday Contest, which was the past Sunday's. Submissions are supposed to be due on Sunday, but Jon Morris is a busy person/procrastinator, too :-). I got an 18.xx average. Last week's was 19.xx. I'm supposed to be averaging 16-17. Why such slow averages? I decided my cube was incompetent. It was time to retire a speedcube. The cube was too loose, jammed too much, and popped too often. It's still my best one-handed cube because my other cubes aren't loose enough, but it's terrible for speedsolving. I decided to retire it and focus on breaking in my other cubes. Now, that cube isn't supposed to be my best speedcube. My DIY is. However, for whatever reason, my DIY (and all my cubes in general) have been sucking recently. I cleaned it out and relubricated it. Wow, it was like the good old days. I proceeded to set a sub-17 average. By then, the lube had worn off. Hmm...not enough lubricant, I assumed. So I squirted more silicone spray in. Yay! Happy days! My cube felt good again and I managed to bring my average down to 16.11, the closest I've come to my 15.93 PB average, set on July 2, 2006, in a long time. So, it seems that what's been keeping my cubing times slow was a lack of good speedcubes. Tonight, I did some more solves on my DIY. At first, my times were in the high teens - slow again. What was up with that? I lubricated my DIY and it was much better. I'm curious why the effect of the silicone spray seems to disappear so fast. I read some speedcubing news and watched some speedcubing videos. I was inspired again. I did some more solves. Now my fingers were warmed up. My times began to drop. Within thirty solves, I broke my 15.93 record. I had achieved 15.82. I kept cubing and some solves later, I got a 15.70 average. I am a very happy person now.

I have a ton of homework to do, but I don't really care right now. After breaking this cubing record, everything's gonna be all right. Fine and dandy. I just know it. Things are gonna work out. Good night.

I hope everyone's had a restful, fun, and healthy winter vacation. I know I did. It was pretty wild, very unproductive, but very relaxing and rejuvenating. As an afterthought, I probably needed the laziness and unproductivity to fuel myself. I feel much better even though there's a little voice in the back of my head telling me to feel guilty. I think I can let this winter break slide. After all, I did have officially no homework due immediately after break.

   Winter break kicked off with some ultimate frisbee action. Not enough people showed up for a game and the grounds were drenched. We ended up playing on the tennis courts and practicing our throws. Dave Bentrovato a. k. a. "Little Bentro" spent a good chunk of time working with me on my forehand. I really appreciate that, David. The most important thing gained from frisbee was a little exercise - getting my butt off this swivel reclining (synthetic, I hope, or some fake plastic-simulated) leather chair that I've sat on far too many hours.

   Exercise, or the lack thereof, leads me to my next point. I ate like a rajah over this holiday vacation. I gorged myself on sweets and sugar and saturated fat galore. I felt like such a slob, a pig, a monstrosity - it was disgusting but part of my slothfulness all break long. In a way, I probably needed some of the junk fuel to recharge anyways. Yes, chemically-speaking, I probably did not benefit physically from it, but there's that psychological factor that derived a mental benefit. Basically, I felt very young and kiddish again this break, and it was a wonderful feeling.

   I went over Aunt Wa's (maternal) house on Tuesday in the afternoon. First off, I planned to just stay for a night and come home the next day. It was all mentalized that I would come home and be productive and study and prep for all those competitions in January and February. And also read my AP essay book for Talarico. But that's for later. I ended up staying two nights and three days. I'm not sure how it got dragged on so long, but I think it was some combination of my lack of self-discipline, a transportation issue, and some wheedling and peer pressure from my cousins. In the end, I was glad it happened this way; I got to experience the youthful feeling again.

   During my stay at Wa's, I drank soda liberally. They had a cooler out on the front porch - the weather outside was very nice all during my stay by the way - and I fetched a drink whenever I was thirsty. Thinking about the 40 grams average of sugar per can makes my liver cry. In addition, I ate pizza and stuffing and potatoes and gravy. I felt a little better eating some tofu burgers, but the layer of cheese and the poached egg completely ruined it - the healthiness, id est. The only decent food (healthwise) I ate was the Chinese food - chao3 hé fen3 and dong1 gua1 tang1 - that Aunt Wa made for me. Again, all the crap I consumed wasn't good for me, but there was that feeling of childhood that came with not caring - something much more satisfying.

   Aunt Wa and her husband, Uncle Tom, were in and out of the place frequently and largely left us to ourselves. They have two sons, Patrick and Kyle Nosker. In addition, another maternal cousin, Kevin, was over. He's currently a freshman at UC Berkeley and has fully recovered from leg cancer and chemotherapy treatment. I hadn't seen him in at least three years, so it was fantastic to spend some time with him.

   The three cousins I was with were addicted to Super Smash Brothers Melee for GameCube. I played a lil', but wasn't too good, and got bored after a couple rounds. I couldn't understand how they could stand playing the same character match-ups on the same map with the same settings (no items, 3 or 5 lives, no time limits) again and again ad infinitum. I managed to entertain myself by browsing through Patrick's 50+ movie collection on his 2 terabyte+ collection of external harddrives in his room using a very funky cool Windows Vista. All the power laid at the tip of my right-hand thumb in the buttons of the Microsoft remote I played with while comfortably reclined on his bed between two wall speakers. A widescreen LCD TV and additional speakers laid in front of me. I watched the newest bond flick Casino Royale and also started watching Rent (which I never finished and had never seen before).

   Casino Royale inspired my cousins and me to play Texas hold 'em style poker. In those three days, we probably played around ten full games of poker. We used Pat's new poker set. Kevin became a bit annoyed at the lack of seriousness with which some of us played - going all in too frequently as if it hardly mattered and a general void of focus. So for the next four games, we threw in a buck each in order to create a little incentive to play smartly and make the game more interesting. I won the first game and lost the others, ending with a net profit of $0. That's probably the way it should have been. We're all part of one large family - why should we be taking each other's money? And, by the way, I temporarily disregarded my aversion to gambling for those four games, again a reflection of my complete self-indulgence and neglect of principles over this winter vacation.

   We went ice skating on my second day there - something I hadn't done in over five years. It was a refreshing experience and enhanced by my love of hockey, which hadn't blossomed five years ago. I tried hockey skates for the first time and felt like I was really getting the hang of skating. After skating for more than an hour, it was a weird feeling being back on rough ground in my sneakers. My legs were still trying to move in a skating motion and push from side-to-side. Then, Kevin and I played a round of DDR on an arcade machine they had at the rink. I was surprised that we could play four songs, when usually you can only play three.

   I also played a few games of chess and one game of Stratego with Kyle. We did some two-versus-two StarCraft LAN battles as well. Apart from all this, we did a bunch of cubing. Kevin had been taught most of the cube by some fellow students at UC Berkeley (I believe they have a cubing club there.). However, his last layer was still guesswork, so I taught him some patterns and algorithms, allowing him to always solve it. Kevin and I taught Patrick two layers and the orientation of the third during my stay, and Kevin taught Pat the rest after I left. All said, I had a very enjoyable stay at the Noskers' home.

   My paternal grandmother returned from Taiwan while I was away, and she came with my father and brother to pick me up at the Bridgewater Mall. I had dinner with Kevin, Patrick, and Kyle before I went home. It was Thursday night when I arrived home, and I went over Ken Kawamoto's house to work on our Kocotter extra credit project for this marking period. We worked until a quarter before midnight and called it a night. I came back the following afternoon to finish the project. This fun and cool origami project was one of the few productive things I did this break.

   On Saturday, I went to the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum to watch the Devils-Islanders game. Aunt Gina and her family are friends with the Chinese owner of the NY Islanders, Charles Wang, so they got my family fantastic $120 seats as a Christmas gift. There was a really a huge difference compared to the $20 seats I sat in in the other two hockey games I have attended. You could actually hear the handling of the puck, the rink seemed a lot smaller, the action seemed a lot faster paced. I fully enjoyed the Devils' 2-0 victory, which bumped Devils goaltender Martin Brodeur to first for most shutouts this season. A great way to end 2006!

   After the game, we visited the Aunt Gina's family at their Long Island home. Kevin, Patrick, and Kyle, along with Aunt Gina's children, Don Don and Alice Yau, were there. I played ping-pong with my brother, enjoyed a tasty meal cooked by Aunt Gina's husband, and spent an hour or so DDRing. This was my first experience playing Mario DDR for GameCube, and I must comment that the songs (mostly Mario-themed) were not as good and not nearly as difficult as the songs for the PlayStation version of DDR. I also played a little multiplayer StepMania with the PlayStation DDR songs on the keyboard with my cousin Kevin. I tried Legend of Max for the first time. Around midnight, I said goodbye to the Yau family and to Kevin, who planned to stay there until his flight back to California. Patrick and Kyle returned with my family to our house. We got home around 2 AM, and everybody went to sleep shortly. Except I stayed up until 3:30 checking stuff on my computer.

   I went to a New Year's Eve party and completely dropped all sense of consumption moderation while there. The food and drink was so delicious and plentiful, and I had skipped dinner beforehand, so I kept eating and eating and drinking and drinking. Heaps of cheesy and meaty and sugary goodies. Mostly hors d'oeurves (a tricky word to spell - Alex Szajko tested me and I failed miserably). However, after most of my consumption was over (I still continued to eat and drink sporadically for the remainder of the party), I played about an hour non-stop of DDR in the basement. I danced some new songs and also revisited some classics. Overall, I was quite pleased with the dance mats' sensitivities. We all watched the ball drop and then I played a four-player game of Mario Party 7 before going home. It was quite the party.

   Well, winter vacation's almost over, and I'm quite sober now. I've had my self-gratification and carefree time. I got up at 3:14 today (about the third or fourth time I woke up past noon this break). Playtime is over and it's time to face the steeplechase until spring break. I guess I'm glad the break turned out as it did, for I feel revitalized for the endurance test up ahead. I've occupied myself with The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn all afternoon, but am only halfway through. I need to finish it by Thursday in order to write an essay for Talarico.

   2006 was a pretty wild ride, but I hope 2007 is even wilder. I wish everybody a rocking 2007!