Erwaman's Personal Journal - June 2007

Boys' State was an experience in uncovering more of my identity. Being more comfortable speaking in front of people - public speaking, it's called, d'oh. A leadership workshop.

I discovered that it was okay to make a fool of myself. I was booed in front of 400 Federalists. after that experience, I think I can handle anything. Kevin Huang, my roommate - now, he was cool. 2400 jigsaw. And for once, I wasn't the only one sleep-deprived. We only had like 7 hours of sleep blocked in, not counting showering, bathroom stuff, etc.

But I digress. Now the real part of Boys' State. Honesty really is the best policy. Being prepared helps. In the end, after all the campaigning and hype-up, in the actual speeches and Q&A sessions, it was those candidates who gave honest answers, who searched inside themselves, who had self-confidence, and who believed in what they where saying - believed their voices were important and their stand on an issue was just as valid - it was those people who were most successful in the elections. Whoever said being nice and honest couldn't help you win support, popularity, and elections? Honestly, it was those down-to-earth people, those who followed their hearts, those that were not afraid to speak their minds, those that roughed the boos and taunts and stood strong through the storms of peer pressure, jeers, and overcame the awesome task of speaking in front of hundreds - those were the heores. Not everyone is the best public speaker. That includes me. but Boys' State gave me the opportunity to stand up and be heard. I'm still not 100% comfortable in front of people. I'm jealous of those super-social, outgoing people-persons, who can jump in any crowd, are so lively and cheerful, are always smiling and laughing, and can brighten anyone's day, voice their views about todo, can talk about their sex lives without being embarrassed, can make a fool of themselves in front of everybody without dying from shame. I want to be one of them. I only have one life to live. Why can't I fully embrace that fact and try to live mine with no restraints or limitations or fears? Alone, I can psyche myself up to do anything. I could conquer any challenge, face any crowd, make a fool of myself on TV. I would be comfortable answering any question about myself, no matter how personal. I would be able to overcome all self-consciousness. I think if I could accomplish this, I'd feel as if I succeeded in life. Maybe I won't fully accomplish this until I'm a senior citizen. Perhaps then, I'll have lived most of my life; I'll have the money to live the rest of my life, and I'll be at the age when I really don't care what other people think. Maybe then I'll stop pretending and fully be myself.

We go around the room. Everybody says something about themselves. At first, I'm psyched to talk. But then, as more people talk, I start comparing myself with them. I start thinking how much of a better person and interesting person so-and-so is than me. I think how he phrased his ideas and thoughts so perfectly. He broke the ice gradually; he made it personal; he connected with everyone; he made everyone laugh; he had the best voice inflections and body gestures; he was just so engaging. Everyone likes him. Now they'll think I'm a creep when I cower into my shell and present myself in a low monotone voice, a quiet whisper, unconfident, with face flushing, constantly self-conscious, constantly noticing the others' eyes on me, their dulled faces, the frowns, the bored-out-of-my-mind expressions, the lack of support and feedback. Everything simply fuels my incapacity. Exacerbates the problem. I want my tidbit to end. Wrap it up as soon as possible. All right, done. No applause. I sit back down. Blend in. Done. Next person's up. Yes, everyone's distracted now. Distracted from me. I survived again.

I need more confidence. I need to believe in myself. I need to produce from within me. I need to carry my own weight. I need to lead. I need to express myself. I need to give to others. Take energy and love from within me and spread it. I've always been feeding off others in the past. Using others' energies and laughs and engaging expressions. I've never really been able to use my own. So far, I've been a thief. Now I want to be a giver. Charitable. I want to give back. Boys' State helped me fully realize thse problems within me, the need for change. And it gave me the opportunity to start.

I ran for several positions. It started simple. Ward of my floor. Now, there were three floors. So three wards. Well, three for each party. I was a Federalist, a Fed., we say. Anyways, the funny thing was - I lived on the second floor and I accidentally ended up being the ward for the third floor. Crazy, huh? They were like, "Okay, everyone from the first floor, go in that corner," and so forth. Well, I just thought for a second and said to myself, "Oh, I'm on the third floor," and went to the corresponding corner. Very amusing.

Anyways, long story short, I ran for many positions and I had to make speeches in front of people for each one. Actually, crowds of ever-increasing size. First ward leader, then mayor candidate, then councilman, then state party chairman candidate, then state senator, and finally state party chairman. For the final position, I was up against seven others, one from each of the other counties, and we all had to speak in front of a crowd of 400 Feds. After my initial speech, I received my one question from the Feds. at large. A statesman rose from the audience, walked down the center aisle, held up a scrambled Rubik's Cube, and cried, "Can you solve this Rubik's Cube?" Well, after checking with the vice state party chairman to see if I would be permitted to solve it onstage - do something completely irrelevant to the state party chairman position - I did it and the crowd went wild. I won a ton of support right there. But it wasn't a sincere victory. It was bribery. I was not the best politician. My ideas were weak. I didn't offer the best solutions. But yet, people liked me. Solely due to the cube. Fortunately, there was more Q&A later. Now we got some serious questions. During one of these questions, I blew it. I had taken a moral and ethical standpoint, so to be consistent, I said "no" to pornography. Now, already having lived at a camp for three days with no girls and lots of sleep-deprivation and raging hormones, most boys weren't about to agree with me. I got booed so badly. But you know what? I survived. It was okay. I spoke my mind and listened to myself. I was honest, and despite negative feedback, at least I did not lie to myself. In fact, the boos weren't so bad. It felt awful to get all those boos, but actually I did not feel like my world had collapsed. Somewhere inside, I actually felt good at having taken a risk and having left myself vulnerable. I had taken a chance and stepped outside the box. I lost the election, but I won inside. And that's what counts. That's what Boys' State was all about.

I don't need to say much more. I attended lots of seminars; I heard tons of inspirational speakers. I got lots of leadership tips. I heard personal stories, stories of conflict and tension and difficulties and failures and struggles and mostly, people bouncing back from them. People taking a chance, an opportunity, being flexible, putting themselves out on the line, trying to convey me the courage to do the same. And you know what? I can do the same. And so can every one of you. That's what I learned at Boys' State.

The Governor elected, the two Senators elected, and also the two alternate Senators - they were honest people. Whoever said politicians had to be liars and manipulative and beat around the bush to win? These statesmen, these men, they won the support of the people - of the other sixteen- and seventeen-year-old statesmen - by being themselves, by being honest. That made me happy. That there exist people like that and people who believe in those sorts of ideals. That made smile without end inside. This was the experience of Boys' State that I will never forget. Thank you, American Legion of New Jersey!

Today was half rough, half rockin'. Physics virtual lab was semi-confusing. Like is total current/voltage just the sum of the currents and voltages in that column? Or do they mean the effective current/voltage? I got back my last grade for the fourth marking period in LA today, and my hunch on my performance on the final AP essay prompt was confirmed. Worst writing grade I ever got. Well, except that one time in third grade when we were making book jackets, on which we had to write an attention-grabbing summary of the book. So, I just flipped to the back cover of the book and copied the expertly written advertisement for the book verbatim. I received the lowest grade possible - N (for Needs Improvement) - on that assignment. But besides that, this is the worst writing grade I ever got, tying the grade on one of my midterm essays for Mrs. Guzo last year. Fortunately, I got an A on the other essay, and Mrs. Guzo weighed the higher score more heavily, so I still got a B+ for that midterm. So yes, ironically, the final assessment of the year (besides the final) in LA is my lowest grade of the year: C. Yep, my expository writing sucks. And I thought that C+ Hamlet paper would be my worst. Guess not.

Okay fine, I can write decently sometimes. But that's just the thing, I'm sooo inconsistent. Random bouts of brilliance between plains of wretchedness. Writer's block? Is this normal? Hey, didn't some famous writers do poorly in their high school English classes? Maybe I just need more time and a more relaxed environment for writing than can be provided in a 42-minute sauna class period. Also, maybe my brain just doesn't process fast enough. I can't organize my thoughts quickly enough. Or maybe I just can't organize them. Or perhaps I can't express them. Just rusty? Need practice? Iono. Oh well. Regardless, writing's still cool. Hehe, I guess just as long as it's not being graded. Hey, the criticism's fine; it helps me improve. There's no way I'd see certain things without them being explained to me by another. I could ponder for eternity and not see from a certain perspective that might be glaringly obvious to another. It's just the cream-pie-in-your-face grade that's not so cool. Which reminds me of another issue: grades in general. Er...I'll save that for another rant, haha.

Ultimate frisbee after school. The day's changing. It was like 12 on 12 at one point. So much fun. Mr. Sciaino played as well. He made some nice catches and assists :-).

Good times at clarinet lessons. A very musical night :-).

Yeah, I kind of procrastinated on finishing this entry, so I forget many things. Anyhows, fun band wash and dodgeball tourney on Saturday. I find it funny that my right arm's still sore from throwing dodgeballs :-). I should have spaced out my physics reading more...but I'm okay now, after a 6.5 hour nap ^^;.

Anyhows, to fulfill my tag by Pontrella, here you go:

• RIGHT NOW [June 12, 2007]
  • wearing: yellow turtleneck, overly short shorts
  • music: Max Weinberg Seven on Late Night with Conan O'Brien from the TV in the next room
  • thinking of: how fresh and awake I feel (and how I'm wasting it doing this ;-P; not really) - it's very peaceful at 1 AM
  • feeling: Awake! In the mood for some DDR
  • dating: my agenda book with lots of stuff in the upcoming weeks; objects in practice problems on the basis of radioactive decay in prep for a chem. final - oh wait, already took that - I mean the PowerPoint presentation for today (Wow, I have to present in like 8 hours and I haven't started.)
  • eating: the grime I can lick off my teeth
  • talking to online/phone: TimeMaverick
• EITHER / OR
  • club or houseparty: Houseparty is more intimate and among friends. Club is more outgoing and don't-know-what's-going-to-happen-next. I like club sandwiches. Knocking down clubs in bowling is good, too. Oh wait, those are pins, darn. Give me a golf club and let's go play some mini-golf. I'll club you with it if I lose ;-P. J/k.
  • tea or coffee: The only coffee-tinted/related items I consume are coffee flavored cold stuffs, like ice cream, sherbet (Do they make coffee sherbet?), ice frappuccinos, etc. Tea is much better, though I don't drink much. I hear many have health benefits.
  • high achiever or easy-going: Oh, I can be both. I try to be an easy-going high achiever. Multi-personalities, what's wrong with that?
  • cats or dogs: How about something more exotic...like...a...penguin. :-) (-: <(^_^)>
  • single or taken: I'd be lucky to hit a single. Singles are much more convenient to use than larger quantities. Why single when you can go multiple? Of course they're taken; I grab opportunities when they come!
  • pen or pencil: Hmm...sometimes marker, or crayon, or paintbrush is nice. I like mechanical pencils, but I ran out of 0.7 mm lead and lost all my 0.5 mm pencils. Pens like to run out of ink on me. Good pens are good for writing good essays :-).
  • gloves or mittens: Gloves are kind of unwieldy. Mittens easily get sticky and disgusting. Yeah, latex gloves! I'll go with hands in pocket.
  • cassette or CD: Pssh, cassette is totally old-school. CDs are glittery *dazzle*. I prefer live music or music in my head.
  • snuff or cigarettes: Snuff as in inhale? Sure, I do that involuntarily. Snuff chemicals for observations? Yep. Snuff out fires before they spread? Yee-up. No, no, no cigarettes. Pretzel sticks all the way.
  • Coke or Pepsi: Soda is bad for you. But I drink it anyways. I try moderation. Hey, it's all just water, food coloring, and varying amounts of sugar. So let's go with plain water. Deionized? How different does that taste?
  • Rickie Lake or Oprah Winfrey: Okay, I've heard of Rickie Lake, but what exactly does he host/do? Probably another reality/talk show. Oprah's usually okay. Sometimes, I don't like her style. Conan. I like comedians :-).
• WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
  • kill: the enemy team, in dodgeball. The virus on my computer - if there were one, haha! My opponent(s) in StarCraft. The ball, in any ball sport.
  • hear from: my lab partner *ahem*cough*, especially when he falls alseep on me mid-lab
  • tickle: myself and actually make it feel ticklish the way it does when other people tickle me so that I can train myself not to be so ticklish.
  • look like: no one in particular. I'd rather not be a twin. But I would like to see like others, i.e., from other perspectives.
  • be like: the pwn3r3r. No, only kidding. I want to be like an honest person, both to oneself and to others.
• FAVORITE
  • food: I used to always say pizza, but I suppose lots of fried, greasy foods (Er...is pizza fried?) taste good - hamburgers, fries, KFC, etc. I like hors d'oeuvres. Sushi is pretty good, too.
  • drink: Like water? Smoothies and coolatas are yum-yum.
  • color: Rainbow!
  • album: I dunno if I own any. Does a DDR mix count? If so, either the 6th or 7th.
  • shoes: Remind me to buy velcro shoes next time I buy some.
  • game: Cubing ^_^. Um. I like to switch around. Card and board games are fun. Oh, DDR, too. Word game! Oh! Mario Party with friends. And then Goldeneye, timeless classic. Super Smash, too.
  • site: speedcubing.com :-). I like purepwnage and homestarrunner, too.
  • song: DDR and non-DDR are two separate stories. Favorite to dance to and favorite to listen to and favorite to sing to are yet other distinctions. I like Francesca da Rimini.
  • vegetable: Sweet potato. And a spinach-like plant that's called kong1 xin1 cai4 (literally hollow-hearted vegetable) in Mandarin.
  • fruit: Fruit is so refreshing and cooling and naturally sweet. Fruit is delicious! I'm tempted to go eat a banana now, but I'll resist. I don't think I'm really hungry, just pining for food. Mangoes and peaches are good. Mango-flavored drinks are my favorite. How about peach smoothies?
• LAST
  • last book you read: As in was reading? My physics textbook. The last book I finished was Brian Friel's Translations for Mr. T. The last non-textbook book I read for pleasure was like...oh my gosh, I can't remember. Oh, well, I do recall starting to read this Killer Online Poker book I found in the volunteer office of the hospital. Other than that, maybe Terry Prachett? This is a good reminder that I need to read more.
  • last movie you saw: Ice Age 2
  • last movie you saw on the big screen: *fishes in the memory* Maybe Hitch?
  • last phone number you called/txtd: (973) 978...okay okay, my lab partner.
  • last show you watched on TV: Conan.
  • last song you heard: BREAK DOWN! Note: the A should be upside-down. It's like the mathematical symbol meaning "for all" or "given any."
  • last thing you had to drink: water. But I'd like some vanilla soy milk next please.
  • last thing you ate: Cherries.
  • last time you showered: Ayer. Er...yikes, wait a second. It's past midnight, so actually two days ago, one night ago.
  • last time you cried: Well, I tear easily. Watery eyes, I suppose. But I think I once almost cried talking with Kleinbaum privately. I tend to release my feelings in an all-out warlike cry in the staircase at the end of the 200/300 wings before I head down to precalculus.
  • last time you smiled: Now, after reading the prompt.
  • last time you laughed: Now, after reading the prompt.
  • last person you hugged: Tienes.
  • last person you kissed: Alex Chiang? His shoe, specifically.
  • last thing you said: "When I picked up...uh...yeah...BEEEEEEEEEP."
  • last person you talked to online: Yo, this is the same as "RIGHT NOW talking to online/phone." Last person I talked to in RL was Dad.
  • last thing you smelled: Well, I just sniffed, and it smells dusty.
• DO YOU...
  • smoke: my opponents in games? Oh, yes. Otherwise, NO WAY!!!!
  • do drugs: Vitamins daily.
  • drink: Water, yes please. Otherwise, I'm a teetotaler.
  • sleep with stuffed animals: Does a pillow count? Use your imagination.
  • have a boyfriend/girlfriend: Sure, multiple. I'd pity anyone who doesn't.
  • have any gay or lesbian friends: I have many happy friends, possibly one of which is from Lesbos, Greece. But probably, nonetheless. Free country.
  • believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: Yo man, if you set your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.
  • consider yourself tolerant of others: I'd like to think so. Am I being honest with myself here?
  • like the taste of alcohol: Gross. Ice cream tastes much better.
  • pray: you to do something with your life? Yes. I believe in luck. I've prayed before, though. Next, ask me if I prey.
  • go to or plan to go to college: Yeah, but I wouldn't mind trying to see what kind of job I could get without a college education.
  • wear hats: Yes, sometimes, usually as a result of paternal coaxing.
  • hate yourself: Sinusoidally.
  • like your handwriting: It's readable :-). But yeah, not bad, I think ;-). I don't really like my left hand handwriting, though.
  • trust others easily: The only Cryptoquote I ever did in my life was: "It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be deceived by them." - duc de la Rochefoucauld. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, but inside I'm a big skeptic and critic. I think I'm also quite suspicious, but very unobservant.
  • like sarcasm: Comedic sarcasm.
  • take walks in the rain: Nah, I'd get sick. Also, soaking wet is not comfortable to me.
  • sing in the shower: Yup.

Oh, how could I forget. My prank on Andy ;-P. So I left my bookbags (Is that a word?) outside Mrs. Allan's room (the newly refurbished science lab). I went to the band room to get my clarinet. I went back to the room and saw that my things were still outside the door. I went in for the ac_dec meeting. They decided to go to the library to do research. I was the last person to leave, but when I left, I expected to see my belongings where I had left them. They were gone! My first thought: Alan Jiang is pulling a prank on me. I ran to the commons, where Alan sat casually doing his homework. I demanded my backpack, but he honestly didn't know where it was. Heh, he's quite different when he really is being honest ;-P and has nothing to hide. His demeanor and response are different. Anyways, I told him my bags are missing! He said he didn't take them and that they're right outside the science lab. I told him they're no longer there. So we went and checked together. And behold! They were back outside the classroom where I left them originally. NO WAY! They were definitely gone, I swear! So then my next thought was: If Alan didn't do it, Andy must have done it. So we ran to the library and I ask Andy. He admitted to it. Now I wanted to get him back. Andy's stuff was still back in the biology room. So Alan and I ran out of the library (Haha, I'm surprised Andy didn't catch on - didn't it seemed kind of suspicious? I guess he has more trust than us :-) and back to the classroom. We took his stuff and hid it in different locations. Alan also decided to turn Andy's backpack inside out. Finally, we left on his desk a list of clues. We went back to the library and I gave Andy his chemistry textbook only as a prompt that something was up. Andy decided to go check his stuff and the scavenger hunt was on! He eventually found everything, but he was very pissed, mostly about the precalculus book we left in the toilet stall and the turned inside-out backpack. Good times, but I probably won't try that one again.

Okay, time to work on my chemistry PowerPoint. Bye!

Highlights:

• LA Research Paper done: A! :-O
• AP Testing: my honest feelings: APUS: 4ish, Chem.: 5
• Coffeehouse! Dan Parry's a genius! I still can't believe I ended up reading the work I rated lowest :-). Some of the other works and performances were nice as well. Overall, I liked it better than last year.
• Cleveland!
  • Cedar Point, a roller coast fanatic's dream. Millenium Force was my favorite. I must recommend it to all :-). It is perfectly staged, with this über-steep climb and initial drop. What completes the picture is the direction of the climb. I think Cedar Point is on its separate island. Maybe the island was man-made for this purpose. Anyways, the climb is pointed towards the water, so as you gain altitude, you get this magnificent view of the waters and you feel like you're over the water, out in that vast expanse, over the brilliance of the sea, the land, and the sky. The wind laps against your face, and the entire moment is both frightening and exhilarating. A must ride! (Note: The lines were long, so bring a cube to occupy yourself and entertain your company. I was able to teach James Hilbert how to solve the entire cube in the wait for one ride!)
       I also played DDR at the arcades there. Somehow, I set high scores. Maybe there aren't as many DDR players there as here in NJ?
       I never had a map while in the park, but I finally looked at one back on the bus to the hotel. I realized there was still half the park I did not see! And we spent 10.5 hours there!
  • Lolly the Trolley: city tour of Cleveland. First off, the windows were unzippable and could be velcroed up! Where else do you hear, "Unzip the window!" and "Yo, velcro the window." See this picture taken by Sarah Macintosh. Next, our tour guide was very experienced and very captivating. The sound system within the trolley was quite clear, so I could easily hear everything he said. I found the history of Cleveland to be very fascinating, but I won't bore you with the details.
  • Great hotel! I roomed with Dan Lin and Eric Hsiao, one less than most people, and our room connected to the one next door, which belonged to Ernest Park, Eric Wei, and Brian Thomas. That was pretty awesome. There was also an extra cot on wheels in our room, so we remodeled our room (shifting many pieces of furniture) and set up the cot in the corner. Besides that, there was a sofa bed and a king-sized bed, so we all had our own beds. The breakfasts were awesome! Also, the first night there, there was free (fresh!) pizza and soda in the ballroom. Man, that soft dough was something!
  • The bus ride was fairly entertaining. Though I missed the signups for Bus 3, where most of the seniors and juniors were hanging out, being on Bus 1 with mostly sophomores and freshmen was cool, too. We played several complete matches of hearts (I always came in second.) and watched many movies: Click, Zoolander, Bruce Almighty, Notebook, a $1 DVD movie Jeremy Seo (sp.?) bought at the Tower City mall in Cleveland centered around repetitive martial arts battle scenes, 10-15 minutes of Above and Beyond (an ultimate frisbee movie Jon Lin brought), and Titanic (I think that's it; there may have been one or two more.).
  • At Tower City, I indulged myself in Caravel ice cream. Also, about half the band was in the candy factory. You could barely move in there! Lots of people bought candy by the pound. I didn't. The sight was enough to make my pancreas cringe. I did sample some friends' candy though.
  • At Borders, I couldn't resist buying a Sudoku book, and I've been doing about one per day since.
  • Finally, the dinner/dance cruise, which was more like a dinner/poker cruise in my case, was awesome. I won the poker tournament, but it wasn't a true victory because we were pressed for time at the end, and we rushed through each round, not playing our best.
• Band Dinner: Good! This year they changed the location to the Knoll Country Club, and I liked it better. However, both here and on the dinner/dance cruise, my request for the Pokèmon theme song was never fulfilled. I was also announced as a captain, along with Janice Matlon, for WPMB 2007!
• Fittingly, the same week, I went to the Captain's Cove 2007 (Haha, get it?) cubing competition in Bridgeport, Connecticut. I would say this competition was certainly one of a kind due to its setting on the boardwalk over a scenic harbor. The proceeds went to support Swim Across the Sound, a cancer organization, and they were kind enough to donate these giant decorative cubes. The color schemes were a bit wacky and the wind toppled them off their stands in the course of the competition, but they were cool nonetheless. My family took some pictures of me holding up one of these giant cubes. They were raffled off at the end, and though I wasn't selected, that was probably a good thing, as one of those giant cubes never would have fit in the minivan. I placed 2nd in all events except the 3x3x3 speedsolve, which I placed 1st in. I broke some official PRs: blindfolded solve and 5x5x5 average. Food was free and nearby. The heat was a bit intense at points during the day, so I kept visiting the bathroom to splash water on my face. I used the hand dryer a bajillion times, and what I kept thinking about was Ohm's law because it said on the dryer that it had a current of 20 amps and a voltage of 120, so from the equation IR = V, the resistance was 6. Not that I have any idea what that means or what Ohm's law is used for, but I remember Mrs. Casazza explained it to me one day when it was left on the board from the AP class. Also, it was cool to finally understand what amperes (C/s) and volts (J/C) were from the introduction to electrochemistry before the national exam. See, I think all Excel hand dryers tell you the current and voltage, but usually the information has already faded (take those at WP for example).
     The inconsistency of the free food also amused me. We received meal tickets that could be used to buy a combo of a hamburger, fries, and a drink. Even though a hamburger was the same price as a cheeseburger, they told my dad and me that we could only get a hamburger. However, when my brother went, he got a cheeseburger, but he also got a kid's meal. Even so, I think he still got more fries. I only found out today, after reading Peter Greenwood's (the organizer) post about the competition that the boxes of donuts were for the competitors as well. I just thought they were for his family and those volunteers who helped run the competition (I suppose I did, too, by judging, but I still didn't take a donut.).

Well, of course along with highlights, you got to have lowpoints, and so, here they are:

• Spring concert (a. k. a. graduation concert where bands and choirs performed) and jazz concert: They weren't so hot (at least for me). All this testing and whatnot gave me little time to practice, and I was very disappointed with my performances. In other news, I had my first private clarinet lesson in over a month (now that I'm done with testing and my teacher is back from China), and that wasn't so hot either, haha.
• I lost the AACC election and RCC presidency, but that's all right. These results were more or less justified. At least I got what I wanted most, i. e. a marching band leadership position.
• Probably the biggest upset was blowing my chance at an A+ in Spanish for the year. I still have a theoretical chance, but not a realistic one. Before the Cleveland trip, we had an opportunity for 15 extra credit points just by watching a 45 minute video and filling out one side of an index card documenting when scene changes occurred in the video. It was due the Friday after the Cleveland trip, the same day as the final AP essay of the year. I brought my book to Cleveland to read, but I was distracted by, ahem, a purchased Sudoku book, among other things, and never read a page of Antony and Cleopatra on the trip >_<. I ended up cramming the book in Thursday night and finishing it in school on Friday. Thus, I never had the time to do the Spanish extra credit. To give you an idea of how much 15 points is, let's just say if you really wanted to, you could have done the EC and opted not to take the quiz that day without any negative effect on your grade (unless you had an average over 100 at the time). With those points, I probably would get a 103 for the fourth marking period, meaning I'd only have to duplicate my performance on the midterm (93) to get an A+ for the year. Now, it seems that I'll get a 99 for this marking period, and I'd have to get a perfect score on the final for the A+. Is it just me, or do most people do more poorly on the midterm and final for world language classes than they do for each marking period? Sigh, procrasinators never win.
• What's more, despite focusing on the AP essay and neglecting the Spanish EC, I still bombed the prompt, which was the first we didn't get ahead of time (We only got a book list.). Hmm, speaking of which, my LA grade is very shaky, too. I'm striving for an A-, but currently it's borderline B+/A-. Wow, these last two bullets make me sound so grade-obsessive, don't they? For me, it's more of a personal struggle because I see the opportunity and these are realistically achievable goals, and no one likes to fail, so it's always disappointing when it doesn't work out.

Stepping back, and taking the panoramic view, I must say highlights > lowpoints in the month of May.

My brother graduated from college and shall be beginning work in August, so he is home now and will be for most of the summer. He brought back his functioning DDR pad, so now I can play again. In addition, he got a new laptop, so I got his old one. It's nice to have two computers, especially two of comparable quality.

Raymond also purchased Super Paper Mario and brought back the Wii, and though I've not played much myself, I've been witness to his addiction of what I'll refer to as SPaM. It reminds me of when I picked up Civilization II again late April/early May this year and began the WWII campaign. I couldn't stop playing until I finally conquered the world. Addiction is scary. Don't do drugs. Or smoke. Or drink. Abstinence is the way to go.

The wristband of my old watch was already broken when I left for Cleveland, and at Cedar Point, an accidental drop popped the back off the watch. Amazingly, the watch still functioned. However, the mode changer button (to access stopwatch and alarm and to set the time/date) was permanently in the "pressed" position - it would not bounce back and further pressing did nothing. Thus, my watch could only tell time; I could not use the cubing stopwatch. I thus got a new watch, reverting back to the classic belt-like band, rather than the clip-shut band or the elastic band.

I took two SAT IIs today (well, yesterday now) and here's what my gut speaks: for US history, honestly honestly honestly, > 700 may be pushing it. In other words, it was a beast, as I was told and as I expected. For chemistry, I feel that I got >= 780.

Another frantic period lays ahead. End of year projects. Early finals. Boys' state. I still have to resolve the conflict between FBLA Nationals and Governor's School :-(.

Congratulations seniors! I will miss you all ;_;. Best of luck and much success to you! You are truly a remarkable class. There's so much uniqueness and talent and interesting quirks within. Next year will be very different without you.