I feel that this composition is pretty good. I think that this one of the better ones I have written this year. I feel that I had a pretty good beginning describing the three year old boy, his parents, grandparents, where the boy lives at his grandparents house, and where his parents live and I feel that I set up the story in the beginning paragraph. Usually my beginnings are pretty good but I feel that this one was my best. An example is: My name I Marc and this is my wife Jan. Right now were in California working for a year without leaving and we get a million dollars. Were doing it for our son who’s at his grandparent’s house for now. We want him to live a good and healthy life. I feel that my middle paragraph is my second best. I usually do that paragraph pretty good but I feel that this time I did the best I’ve ever done it third year. I feel that I described everything thing pretty good like in the beginning but I feel that it wasn’t as good as my beginning paragraph. I feel the same about my conclusion. I feel that I described everything pretty good and a lot better then usual but it wasn’t as good as my beginning or my middle paragraph but it was still pretty good and a lot better then usual. I feel that the worst part about my conclusion is my last sentence but I feel that it was better then usual.

     I think that the part that gave me the most trouble are my conclusions. I think that I need on my endings even though I said I did pretty good it wasn’t really that great it was just OK but compared to my other ones it was pretty good. I think that I could fix my endings by expanding them and take more time on my last sentence because that’s usually my worst part. Usually I but my similes and metaphors, out of sequence adjective are always in my conclusion and I think if I try to spread that out then I will be able to have a better conclusion and my last sentence is always and that was my best… I think if I take that out I also think that my conclusion will be a lot better.

     I have stated earlier that I am nor that good at my conclusions and I feel that this was my best one so far. I don’t think that I did my conclusions better in any of my other stories I have written this year. I think that my second best conclusion that I had was in My earliest feelings of love Blue Bear. That is going to be another one of polished pieces that I have decided to use. It wasn’t that good but I think that it was a lot better then my other ones that I have written this year so far. My best birthday and my earliest feelings of love were my two latest compositions so I feel that I am getting stronger in my writing every time I write another composition. So I think in a couple of weeks my compositions will be getting longer and better and I also think that by the end of the year my conclusions will be better then ever.

     I think that I can compare My Best Birthday to Blue Bear because in both of those compositions I have written really good beginnings describing things that can lead the rest of the story to come in that paragraph in both of them. That has probably been my strong point so far this year. I think it was better then usual though. Then my middle would be the second best. In both of them they were pretty good and better then usual. Then my conclusions which have been horrible all year were a lot better then usual but still not that good but about OK.

     I have stated many times earlier that I am pretty bad at conclusions but my last two have been the best I have done so far this year. I think three ways that I can improve are by expanding my conclusions and writing more details and making it longer so it has to end and it can’t go on. Most of the time I could write another paragraph before it can’t go on anymore. Another way that I could improve on my conclusions are by not putting my similes, metaphors, and out of sequence adjective. All of my conclusions so far this year have had all of those in the conclusion. I think that if I spread them out then maybe my conclusions will have more story and not a lot of require that don’t usually fit. Another way I think I could improve my conclusions are by fixing my last sentence. Every last sentence that I have written this year had been that was… best … ever or something like that. If I take that out and be finished or take it out and write a couple more lines my conclusion and overall will be a lot better. An example is his face is as red as a cherry as a simile. In my rough draft my last sentence was. That was my best birthday ever but I couldn’t do it though because I had to change the story to his parents point of view.