This is Alice Kim's Web-Based Writer's Portfolio. It was posted and designed by Anthony Hsu (Erwaman). This is the second reflective commentary.

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Reflective Commentary

My Most Successful Moment

     My compositions turned out exactly the way I wanted. It gave the reader a sort of feel of how frustrating that day was. I made it seem as if we were very high-strung and panicky about winning the debate. For example, I wrote that my partner’s face was flushed and embarrassed because of a small mistake she had made during her speech. The audience must have assumed that she was frantic about the competition.

     The restriction on the four linking verbs made writing a bit challenging for me. I was used to making very wordy sentences with lots of action. However, I realized that there are other ways of creating lines with the same meaning. For example, I wrote that the smiling judge, vivacious and cheerful, called out names from a list. This tense made me feel as if I were back there doing debate all over again.

     The papers that I had written last year were better than this year’s compositions. Last year I had no rules to writing. I enjoyed freestyle writing a lot. However, the restriction on the four linking verbs made me discipline and ‘tame’ my essays. I realized that my writing was too wild. I particularly like writing fantasies last year. It was up to me to decide the topic. Compositions this year were subjects already chosen. Picking your own topic makes it easier to go by the rules. My Most Successful Moment forced me to write in a certain way, so it was harder.

     I have always liked my style of writing. I like to include descriptive words and similes in my stories to create vivid pictures. For example, I wrote in my composition that my partner looked as if she was Goldilocks with the three bears on her tail. I made it seem like she was actually frightened of the debate.

     I have made drastic progress as a writer. The writing rules I had made this year made it challenging, but it also helped me realize that I needed to write conservatively. My writing has definitely improved over the years. My compositions are becoming less wordy and more practical. Last year, I used to write run on sentences with too many adjectives. Now, I know that short choppy sentences give the reader a break. For example, in my essay, I wrote that after lunch, we settled down. This line was practical and did not have any descriptive words crowding around. After this sentence, I wrote a longer one, giving contrast to both lines.

     I would most like to receive criticism about the format of my sentences. Writing perfect lines requires precision, and I want to make correction on mine. I will try to apply feedback to compositions such as My Most Successful Moment in the future.

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